Look like a man as others revel in the glory of your magnificent beardedness. Sound like a man, as the wind and your facial follicles intertwine to make sweet, sweet music. Feel like a man, as the coarse wildman wires attached to your face are tamed into soft, delightful strands that will make your ladyfriend purr contentedly. Smell like a man, as pure and natural masculinity wafts from your mustache like aromatherapy even stronger than a candle store under attack by an arsonist. Your beard will even taste manly, after being saturated by such glorious and wonderful ingredients as find themselves in this miracle that is the Polished Gentleman Beard Conditioner!